Letting Go

Falling in love is a euphoric feeling. Loving a person is a joyful feeling. Being commited to a person is a selfless act. These are the stages of love that we experience when we share our life with someone. I’ve gone through all these. I loved like I was never hurt before. But what happens when things fall apart. There is a force outside our being that seems to guide us through life. There are signs that we come across with that steer different emotions. Never ignore these signs as it truly is very helpful.  Never judge until we know the truth. The truth reaffirms all the signs and feelings we are encountering and allows us to reasses the situation. Twice I have been saved by this tremendous force. I have been wounded by love’s brutality both by dear friends.  Both my 1st husband, and my ex-boyfriend and dad of my baby boy betrayed me. They both have taken my feelings for granted. Both have admitted that along the way of our relationship they fell out of love and that they love someone else. But before they were able to admit that there was somebody else, they attacked me and tried to push me away. I tried very hard only to find out in the end that the reason was there is another person. The whole thing changes as clearly the reason for not being able to work things out is because there is only one person working it out. In an instant, It is easier to decide. There was no point in staying in the relationship. Letting go of these people and wishing them well was the best thing I did. I felt so sad, and disappointed. I felt pain piercing through me. In my life only goodness were my intentions.  I cried out to God to help give me strength. Prayed so hard to heal me of all the pain I’m going through. Its been 3weeks since I found out the truth. I no longer feel the pain maybe becuase I have surrendered myself and allowed God to take over my life. Amazing but I was able to turn anger to love. Crazy and twisted as it may seem, I was able to help my ex cope with his issues with the girl he thinks he love. Instead of killing him, I was there for him to strengthen him. Not expecting anything in return, I was able to be his friend. Sincerely speaking, I was able to put my emotions aside for a friend. I felt happy being able to help. Though I cant help feel lonely, I pray and I know God is there hugging me and comforting me. I hear God say ” Child, be patient and trust me. I will lead you the way to happiness.”

I’m Doing Just Fine

There was a time when I thought life was over and out
When you went away from me
My dying heart made it hard to breathe
Would sit in my room
Because I didn’t want to have to go out
And see you walking by
One look and I’d break right down and cry
Now you say that you’ve made a big mistake
Never meant to take your love away
But you can save your tired apologies
‘Cause it may seem hard to believe
But
I’m doin’ just fine
Getting along very well
Without you in my life
I don’t need you in my life
I’m doin’ just fine
Time made me stronger
You’re no longer on my mind
You were my earth
My number one priority
I gave me love to only you
Anything you’d ask of me
I would do
But somewhere down the road
You felt a change in the weather
And told me that you had to journey on
A kiss in the wind and your love was gone
Now you say you never meant to play your games
Girl, don’t you know it’s far too late
Because you let our love just fall apart
You no longer have a heart
When you said goodbye
I felt so all alone
There were times at night I couldn’t sleep
My heart was much to weak to make it on my own
Baby after all the misery
And pain you put me through
So unfair to me girl
You’re no longer my world
And I ain’t missin’ you at all

The Essence of Being Single

All your life, you had specific dreams about what your family life would be like hen you finally marry.

You were so intent on what you wanted, you even made a list of qualities and characteristics you were looking for in spouse, in a home, in your job, in your children.

But time passed and that person you were so intent didnt come along.

All of your friends married, had children, had beautiful homes, and still you were single.

You prayed and prayed and prayed for that person to come along, but nothing happened.

You had a great job.

You served in your church.

You spent daily time with the Lord in prayer.

You dedicated your life to serving God in every way possible, but still nothing happened.

So you decided to take matters into your own hands, and you began an activate search for a partner.

And within a short period of time, you met someone who almost fit the picture..Almost

Sure, there were a few things missing, a few rusty spots in that person’s character.

But after all, noone is perfect. Maybe your goals were too high. Maybe you were asking for the impossible.

Maybe this was the person God wanted for you so your character would grow through dealing with his or her shortcomings.

Even though it often seems that God is slow to answer prayers, no matter whether its about a partner, a job, family member, or our finances, we have to remember that God doesnt wear a watch.

Nor does he look into our human calendars. He sees with eternal eyes. He operates on eternal timetable, according to his plan and his schedule.

If God seems to be running late, dont get impatient and run ahead of him.

Wait for the Lords timing in everything.

To the single folks out there, this is for you:

BEING SINGLE MEANS YOU HAVE TIME TO GROW AND BE THE PERSON YOU  WANT TO BE.

BEING SINGLE GIVES YOU SPACE TO GROW. SOMETIMES ITS HARDER TO GROW WHEN YOU ARE TOO CLOSE TO SOMEONE. TREES ARE PLANTED FAR APART SO THEY CAN SPREAD THEIR BRANCHES AND BECOME STRONG AS THEY MATURE.

BEING SINGLE MEANS LEARNING TO LIVE BY YOURSELF. HOWEVER, THAT IS MORE DIFFICULT THAN LEARNING TO LIVE WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.

BEING SINGLE MEANS FREEDOM. YOU ARE FREE TO SPEND A WEEKS VACATION ON THE BEACH, TO TAKE ON HOBBIES, TO WORK LATE, TO SPEND THE DAY IN BED WITH A GOOD BOOK ETC WITHOUT GETTING THE CONSENT OF ANYONE.

BEING SINGLE MEANS LEARNING NOT TO NEED ANOTHER PERSON TO MAKE YOUR LIFE MEANINGFUL BUT LEARNNG TO LIVE WITH SOMEONE BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE WITH THAT SOMEONE.

BEING SINGLE MEANS THAT SOMETIMES YOU WILL WONDER WHY YOU WILL BITE YOUR LIP AND FEEL WISTFUL AND WONDER IF MARRIAGE IS BETTER.

IRONICALLY, YET QUITE HAPPILY, BEING SINGLE IS FEELING GOOD ABOUT BEING IN CONTROL WITH YOUR LIFE. IT IS LIKING, RESPECTING, AND LOVING WHO YOU ARE.

BEING SINGLE IS REALIZING THAT BEING MARRIED IS NOT NECESSARY BETTER, IT IS MERELY DIFFERENT.

BEING SINGLE MEANS THERE COULD BE SOMETHING WONDERFUL AROUND THE CORNER.

BEING SINGLE MEANS YOU ARE FREE TO LOVE AGAIN.

YESTERDAY WAS TO LEARN AND TOMORROW WILL BE THE CONSEQUENCE OF WHAT I WILL DO TODAY.

Starting All Over Again

The only way to go when you want to alter your life is to do it the old cold turkey way ..like stripping a band aid! You have to muster all the courage and strength and just do it! Its been two week since I moved out from my boyfriends place after so much emotional stress. It wasnt an impulsive move but rather a wise selfless act. The pain is agonizing but I believe its the best decision I made. I am expecting to give birth in a few weeks. Although my ideals have been shattered. I know greater things are yet to come. I know it wont be easy being a single parent but Im sure the challenges will be very fulfilling. Thanks to the great support I have.. my angel friends, loving family, and God’s continuous guidance.

Keep the Faith

What happens when you see part of your world shattering into pieces for the second time? If you’re like me, you’ll probably be staring blankly, unable to speak, and numb down to the feet. Pain will slice through you. And for days, you might be living like a catatonic. Exhausted in doing everything to save a beautiful dream you are left with no other option but to let go. The greatest handicapp is fear. It takes great will to get up and move on especially after you have learned to trust your heart to someone. A lot of things are beyond our control. The only thing constant is change. It is the ability to willingly accept, adapt, and learn from these changes that we remain sane. This I say to everyone, patience is a virtue. Everything happens for a reason that opens bigger opportunities. We must believe that these are blessings in disguise. Everything will be okay.

At The Right Time

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But God says, “No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with living, loved by ME ALONE, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to ME ALONE. I love you, my child, and until you discover that ONLY in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings.

“I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you that most thrilling plan existing, one that you can’t imagine. I want you to have the BEST! Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching me, expecting that satisfaction, expecting the greatest things, and know that I Am. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. YOU MUST WAIT!

“Don’t be anxious. Don’t worry. Don’t look around at the things others have received. Don’t look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up to me, or you’ll miss what I want to show you.

“And then, when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you would ever imagine. I am working this very minute to have both of you ready at the same time, until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the life I have planned and prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me… and this is perfect love.

“Dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with myself. Know that I love you utterly. I am God Almighty. Believe and be satisfied.”

St. Theresa’s Prayer:

May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you…. May you be content knowing you are a child of God…. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.

Things I Learned About Love

Things I Learned About Love
By: Mariel G. Calalo

My greatest fear in life is neither death or not ever finding my ideal man. Rather, it’s finding the exact opposite of my ideals, living and falling madly in love with him, and casting all else aside. Some days, it’s the scariest thought that keeps me awake in the wee small hours of the morning. Love is an adrenaline rush, an exhilirating roller coaster ride that makes you brave enough to dare and dream. It a wonderful experience to feel it. It brings you happiness, jealousy, sadness, excitement and every other emotion that makes you human and feel alive. Here are my two-cents worth of learnings from loving.

Love has to be tested. As fire purifies gold, trials and difficulties can either strengthen the love you feel or ultimately show you that this love isn’t true. It’s always easy to love a person when everything between you is calm and okay. However, it is difficult to love someone when you are going through tough times. It’s difficult to love a person when the world seems to pull the two of you in different directions. If you are able to rise above the challenges, with your love for each other unwavering, then consider yourself, blessed beyond measure.

Love is defined by balanced exposure. You can’t really be sure if love is what you feel if you’re always together doing the same things. You’ll know it’s love if after being away from each other for some time, if after meeting different people and if after pursuing your own passions in life, and you still carry the torch for the same man or woman, that’s love. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Sometimes, you need to give the other person the time and the space to think things through, to finally put the gray areas of your relationship in black and white, to hear his thoughts more clearly, and of course, to miss you.

Love is acceptance. Love is not about “Superman Complex.” You don’t love a person because you think he needs rescuing. You can’t change a person, you can only love that person enough to make him want to be a better man. Love doesn’t have to feel like you’re settling. It’s about feeling like you’ve just found one of the world’s greatest treasures and not wanting to exchange it for anything in the world. Someday, someone funnier, sweeter, richer, more responsible, much more charming, much more beautiful would come along. Unless you find the person you love perfect just the way he is, perfect in his own imperfection, you would never be contented and happy in this relationship.

Love really begins with friendship and familiarity. I used to think that platonic relationships gone romantic, is like putting vinegar in congee. It makes something warm and comfortable, sour. I was foolish in believing that familiarity breeds contempt. I guess, I know better now. The only way to say that you truly love a person is if you know him and what better way to do it than being friends. It relieves you the pressure of being at your best all the time, of being too perfect, of being too good. No pretenses. Seeing the flaws in a person will help you asses if this is a person you see yourself growing old with, someone you think you could listen to, someone you can respect. If the love of your life is also your best friend, I think it’s one of the best evidences that God does exist and looking out for you. So often, he or she has become a source of encouragement and comfort, warm feelings or a good laugh, just at the right moment. Often, talking to that person helps you hear your thoughts better and figure out the answers you need.

Love is not automatic but manual. You need to work it girl! Love is tough and it needs hard work. Love is like a rose. You need to take care of it or else, it dies. You need to decide and love that person even on days when he’s absolutely unlovable, on days when he absolutely drives away every drop for sanity in you, and on days when you just want the earth to swallow you alive. I guess, Love is lifetime effort.

After all these learnings, it’s difficult to imagine why I’m still loveless. Well, I’m only loveless, not hopeless. Love moves in mysterious ways and I truly believe that a wonderful blessings on his way to find me. After all, it is in the hope that dreams would come true that makes our lives more interesting.